Who gets the ring if the engagement is called off???

This is a question that is often asked of family lawyers. Many people believe that the answer is dictated by convention, tradition and morality, rather than by the law. So it may surprise you that it is an issue that has been considered by the courts on more than a few occasions.

Traditionally, an engagement ring is provided as a gift by the “groom-to-be” to his “bride-to-be”, as a symbol of his love and promise to marry. However, the engagement ring is actually seen by the law as a “conditional gift”. That is, it is implied that the ring can be kept by the woman provided the wedding takes place.

But what happens to the engagement ring if the wedding is called off? Does it depend upon who calls the wedding off?

In a recent case the Supreme Court of NSW reviewed the decision of a Local Court Magistrate who ordered that the “bride “ return the ring to the “groom”.

In that case, the “groom” asked to have the engagement ring returned to him. The ring had a value of $15,250. The wedding had been called off by the “bride” only 10 days after the engagement party, where she had been “gifted” the ring.

The facts of the case were that the “bride” took the ring off at the “groom’s” home and in the presence of several witnesses said: “The wedding is off, here take the ring, I don’t want it”. The “bride” took the ring off her finger and placed it on the coffee table. However, the “groom” didn’t pick it up and said: “Take the ring, it’s a gift”.

There was some debate in the case about whether the “groom” had rejected the return of the ring or whether it was the “bride’ who had rejected the “gift”. The judge found that many of the things said at the time were part of the highly emotionally-charged situation that surrounded the events.

The “groom” did not want to end the relationship, but the “bride” wasn’t interested and the ring was eventually thrown in the garbage bin.

The judge found that the “bride”, having rejected the gift of the ring, was not entitled to throw it in the garbage bin as it was still the property of the “groom”. As such, she had a duty to properly take care of it until its proper return to the “groom”. She was not entitled to throw the ring in the garbage bin, without firstly giving the “groom” reasonable notice and time to collect the ring.

As the “bride” had disposed of the ring and was not in a position to return it to the groom, she was ordered to pay him the monetary equivalent of the ring’s value - $15,250. She was also ordered to pay the “groom’s” legal costs for the case.

The Judge found that the legal principles in the case were that:

• If a woman who has received a ring in contemplation of marriage refuses to fulfil the conditions of the gift she must return it.
• If a man has, without a recognised legal justification, refused to carry out his promise of marriage, he cannot demand the return of the engagement ring.
• If the engagement to marry is dissolved by mutual consent, then in the absence of agreement to the contrary, the engagement ring and like gifts must be returned by each party to the other.

The judge also noted that a woman would also be able to raise a plea of legal justification of her decision to refuse to carry out her promise of marriage. There may be conduct on the man’s part, for example acts of violence towards the woman or having a steady and sexual relationship with another woman, whcih would justify the woman calling off the wedding.

In those circumstances the court found the woman can probably keep the ring.

Please contact the Kells Family Law Team for more information or expert advice on other family law matters.